Text: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I want to wrap up our “In the Midst of Disappointment” study by finishing the story of the loss of my baby and explaining the renewal I found. When I left off last time I told you of sitting in that parking lot of a nearby church staring at the cross on the sign. It was there that I felt the Lord speaking to me so openly.
The Lord speaks to us through his word daily and at this moment scripture was being brought to mind to remind me that my Lord was still speaking to me through His word. “You are not alone, I will not leave you, I want only good things for you…my child, you will one day see your loved little one face to face.” As I heard these things so plainly spoken to my heart, my heart burst. I mean it literally felt like it broke open. I would try to explain that further but I feel I am not the only one who has experienced this feeling, so I will leave it without further explanation. What I can tell you more about though is that I didn’t leave my sorrow or disappointment here as if nothing had ever happened. What I was able to do at this point, was heal.
I felt the peace of God washing over me and saying, “Welcome back my child.” You see, God had never left or moved away from me. I moved. I hardened my heart at that time and chose to try to find answers in my own way. At this point, I finally confessed my selfish wants and God gave me the words to open up to my husband about the pain that I felt and the loss and ache inside of my body and my heart.
The truth is, there are no answers for why we experience losses such as these. There are no human answers that can satisfy our questions. There are no magic medicines to heal the ache in our souls. But there is God, who has all the answers. There is Jesus, our fully human, fully God, Lord and Savior who knows the hurt that we as human beings experience.
I don’t know the answer to your disappointment but I can tell you that years after my miscarriage, I know the answer to mine. I will one day be face to face with my perfect baby. My child that will never know heartache, injury, or sin has been worshipping Jesus for almost six years. And without the loss of that perfect baby, I would not have my sweet Felicity. You see, I got pregnant with her just five short months after my miscarriage. What seemed like an eternity waiting for that next positive test, seems such a small amount of time now.
So friends let me leave you with this…renewal can only be found in our Lord. It can only be found when we give up all selfish desires and ask for His guidance in our disappointing times. Don’t take so long to find that renewal that you harden your heart to our Father. He is waiting, He is there, He is calling to you, His child! Come find renewal in Him.