Loving your husband when he seems unlovable
I admit, there are days when loving my husband seems like an hourly challenge. You know ‘those days’ that I’m talking about right? Where every time you turn around you’re in an argument? He can’t put the trash bag in the can right, he asks what he can do to help when the kids are running around naked, screaming like banshee’s and you have to leave for church in 10 minutes. “HOW ABOUT CLOTHE THE CHILDREN!? GET THEM BREAKFAST?! GET UP AN HOUR EARLIER SO YOUR PRIMPING IS DONE IN TIME TO HELP ME?!” You obviously scream to yourself in your head. We’ve all been there.
Our devotional today isn’t about all of us venting about how much our husbands don’t see things through our point of view. See what I did there? It’s about loving our husbands regardless. See the period at the end of that last sentence? LOVING OUR HUSBANDS REGARDLESS. It doesn’t matter if he wears brown shoes and a black belt. It doesn’t matter if he isn’t good at fixing your daughters hair. It doesn’t matter that he clips his toe nails in bed or has a spending issue, a drinking issue or doesn’t have a brain to mouth filter and says things that sound mean. IT DOESN’T MATTER! We are called to LOVE our husbands.
As we talked about yesterday however, that does NOT mean that we have to be door mats. If he’s doing something that bothers, you; TELL HIM! My husband has this annoying habit of being very picky with his coffee mugs in the morning. That in itself doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is that he leaves every cup that he doesn’t choose, on the counter and doesn’t put them back in the cabinet. That’s what bothers me. Almost each morning he comes out from the bathroom as I am putting them away. “Oh sorry” he says, but the same thing happens the next morning. It’s just how my husband is. Am I called to be passive aggressive about it and put all those mugs under his pillow so he finds them when he wants to sleep? Nope (besides I tried that… I’m sure you can imagine the argument that ensued). Am I called to belittle him with words like, “Can’t you ever put your stuff away? Every morning you leave your stupid coffee cups all over my counter, my goodness you are no better than the kids!” Absolutely not. We are called to love. We are called to honor. We are called to respect.
Check out these verses on loving your husband; REGARDLESS.
Eph 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”
Also read all of 1 Corinthians 13!
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
For those of you born back in the 80’s you’ll be familiar with the band Haddaway and their one-hit-wonder “what is love?”
If you remember the catchy lyrics, they go like this:
“What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.”
Pretty catchy tune, but there’s something to this that we can use. What is love? Love doesn’t hurt intentionally. Love isn’t malicious. Love isn’t vengeful. Love isn’t mean. Love isn’t spiteful. Love is unconditional.
I’ll leave you with one pointed closing thought. Let’s look at Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.”
Think of the last time that you argued with your husband. If Jesus replaced your husband, in that circumstance, would you still speak to him that way? Would you choose those words? That tone of voice, that body language with Jesus Christ in the room? I know this is purely hypothetical here because Jesus will NEVER disappoint us. But would you speak to Jesus like you speak to your husband? If our husbands are a symbol of the figurehead like it says in Ephesians 5:23, it would beg a different reaction entirely.
Think on that ladies. Pray over this. Love your husbands, unconditionally. We all have traits that are hard to love too I’m betting.