Have you ever questioned God? Who am I kidding, right? Of course you have! I have, so many times! Recently, a lot! Life has thrown so many twists and turns for me that it would honestly take me writing a book for me to explain it all to you. And I am by no means exaggerating there (I am the queen of exaggeration but this time, I am being completely truthful). My life has been full of trials and tribulations, a recent one, my husband found himself unemployed. This isn’t the first time we have been jobless and I’m sure it probably won’t be the last, but I can say, this one was a true test of faith. We had moved from Arizona to Texas for a ministry opportunity and found ourselves in a situation that we were certain could not have been from the Lord. But we knew he had brought us to this place, he set everything in motion, we had waited patiently for him to bring us the ministry he intended for us to have. Well, he had other plans. After almost a year and a half of struggle, stress, and tears, my husband resigned his ministry and we felt peace (the kind that only comes from God himself). We knew that our prayers and discernment had led us as a couple to this decision but the thoughts loomed, “What now?” “Why did you bring us so far from home?” Do we stay here or go home?” “Where will the money come from?” It wasn’t an easy situation. In fact, it has just begun to let up at this point and he resigned almost 6 months ago. Patience? I am not a patient person. I try, but honestly, I fail way too often. So what does God expect in a time like this? Does he expect us to just wait and trust and never question his timing? Does he expect us to never complain or cry or yell or scream out for an answer? No. He actually doesn’t. Do you know how I know this? Because scripture is filled with complaints, tears, requests, anger, fear, some more tears, and many children of God asking where he is and what his plan is? Have you ever read David’s Psalm’s? If you find yourself in trouble or in a bad situation, start around Psalm 62 and just read! If you are desperate to feel His presence, you will find it in the Psalms. He will show up. Look here at Psalm 142…
Psalm 142:5-7 “I cry to you, O LORD; I say,
“You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.” (NIV)
Look at the first line…”I cry to you.” I can’t tell you how many times I sobbed in the shower, crying out to God in the last 6 months of trial. Guess, what? He saw every tear. He heard every word. He listened as I asked him, “Where are you?, What have we done to deserve this?, What do you want from us?, How much more can we take?, I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE!” He heard it all and he wrapped his love around me, my husband, and my children and he cared for us. He was orchestrating every detail of our lives, and deep down I knew this. I did become impatient with his time table. But my ABBA Father wants to hear me. He wants me to be heartfelt and honest. My prayers shouldn’t be about trusting his plan while all the while I mutter under my breath how awful he is being to me. Uh, he knows my every thought. Psalm 139:2, “You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.” (ESV)
The next time you find yourself questioning what you should say or how you should respond to God in a time of trial, t20alk to him like you would your dad. Cry on his shoulder. Tell him how you really feel. Obviously, don’t do it out of disrespect, but do it because he wants you to come to your Father and talk to him. You are his child. Never forget that he loves you and wants to hear from you.